It’s always the little things. The hand on your shoulder, as you attempt something new, that silently urges you on. The quick embrace from a friend or co-worker that quickly celebrates a victory with you. The calm hand that helps you face a difficult situation, or the quick rub by someone letting you know you’ve got this.
Those quick little emails from someone letting you know you’re doing a good job, or thanking you for helping them. The sly look from someone you know is in your corner, but not sharing that with the rest of the world. The note in snail mail just to send you some kind words, or encouragement. The social networks we build physically and electronically that boost us through our daily lives. Even our phone calls made during business or pleasure where we all take a moment to connect.
All these little chance encounters daily make our journey, be it light or heavy, easier to bear. Those connections we can take for granted in the midst of our daily lives. Today, I was abundantly reminded how much all my connections mean to me, and how I am so grateful to have them in my life. And I will continue to use all of my connections, no matter how small or insignificant they may seem to others, to help me through this journey.
Today was my first follow up with my Oncologist since starting treatment. We discussed how my first cycle went, what we learned, how we plan to manage the aftereffects of each cycle. We discussed what happens if my lump doesn’t shrink. She palpated the lump as well and asked me beforehand if I thought is had shrunk any. No, not yet. She agreed, it’s still the same size, but it does feel slightly softer now. Yes, that is the word, softer. She told us that one of her patients was concerned as they got closer and closer to surgery and her lump had not seemed to shrink at all. They went into surgery with the determination “we shall see what we shall see…”. Even though she still had a lump, all evidence of cancer was completely gone. This helps. We also discussed my bowels and the multi-year journey it took to teach them to behave normally. She apologized, but until we’re done with this trek, Imodium and possibly other remedies to get through this process will remain active protocols for me until we’re done, and then, will have to retrain my bowels again. Honey – get the bio-hazard placard for the front door.
When we arrived home, mail had been delivered. As hubby sorted, I started opening what I had received – two small packages and a letter.
I opened the first package, from my mother. It contained a card and a little pillow with Velcro straps. It was a gift from one of her new friends she has made in her new home. It was his daughters, she used it to cushion her port from the seat belt when she was driving. His daughter lost her battle with metastatic breast cancer earlier this year. I have not mentioned this yet, but the one time I did drive myself after my port was installed was so uncomfortable, I have insisted that my husband be my chauffeur since. To receive this little gift today, was a reminder of all my connections and how they are always there to boost me when I am need. I shed a silent tear of gratitude and thanked God for allowing me to have so many wonderful people in my life who care. I will gladly use this cushion with all the love and support it was given, and thank the wonderful women who lost her battle for helping me with mine.
Next, was a little package from a nephew and his wife. If you really want to get technical, he’s my step-nephew, but our family has never looked at that distinction. You are a member of this family, like it or not. You will be loved, and we will rally around you in time of need, period. No ifs, ands or buts about it. We may fight with you as well, call you out, call you names, be angrier than a wet hen, but we will still love you. Family is family, blood or not. This nephew is a Police Officer. He and his wife sent me his Breast Cancer Awareness Patch with a quick note they have my back. Again, the silent tears and the all-encompassing gratefulness I have for my family. They mean so much to me and I know without them I would not be who I am today.
The letter was also from my mother, who took the time to send me articles from the latest O Magazine. I used to have a subscription but I let it lapse when I realized my monthly magazines were piling up and I didn’t have the time to read them. Due to this being Breast Cancer Awareness Month, they had several different write ups on the subject. All of which I devoured while standing by the kitchen table, and again, all reminded me I am on the correct path.
You can read these articles here
Despite the monsters that lurk in the dark, and as my other mom just reminded me, turn on the lights if there are monsters, I am back in the light, and ready for the next cycle to start. Thank G-D it’s next week!
Life is Gratitude