This morning was my appointment with Dr. Sikaria, well, it was scheduled for almost lunch time, technically still this morning. As promised I told her about two weeks ago I had a two day break from the neuropathy, but it came back worse than before, and it now is painful in my fingertips and toes when I put any pressure on them. Hubby last night asked me if I was OK while I was typing up yesterday’s post, and I replied, “Yes, why?” He said I was pounding on my keys like I was angry or upset. That was when I realized because I cannot feel the keys very well, I am typing harder than I normally would. So there is that.
I also told Dr. Sikaria about the rash that has appeared on my hands and face in the past two weeks, and I told her about what happened yesterday. Told her how it all started, how I fell off the toilet due to the pain and not having the energy to hold myself up anymore, how I thought for sure I was going to die, or end up being taken to ER half naked with a dirty behind. Her first words were “We’re done with chemo. This can all be chalked up to the Taxol, and this is your body’s way of telling us it has had enough, it cannot take anymore.” What a relief! I am still a little scared that not completing all 12 cycles of the Taxol means a recurrence down the road, but I am trying really hard to not think about that. That is a small little dragon that I can tuck nicely away in a corner and not let out.
Dr. Sikaria did schedule me to come back in 8 weeks. I should be done with the surgeries by then and from there I will need to be scheduled with a radiation oncologist for the final phase of my treatment. After that I go into check-up mode. There are no auxiliary treatments to add after all this to try and keep my cancer from returning. Dr. Sikaria said at the beginning she would probably see me every 6 months or so for the first few years.
Now I just need to be patient about my recovery from chemo. She did say it would be a slow recovery process. I know it took over 4 months to get me to this point, so I know it will take months for me to recover as well. But I want the recovery now, not months from now. I want to be able to taste tomorrow, and feel with my fingers, and not feel tired, washed out and drained. I want my face back. I want my real life back. I know that radiation will drain me as well. Even the girls in my Support Group who aced chemo complained about how tired radiation made them. But just for a little bit, I want to feel “normal”.
On a side note, The Grandson is definitely all boy. A few weeks back he ran into a fence at school playing chase with his friends and gave himself a huge hematoma on his forehead. Today, he was climbing a ladder on the playground and fell from 5 feet up. He broke his left forearm – buckle fracture. He’s fine, and smiling for the pictures of the temporary “cast” applied until he is scheduled with an orthopedist for casting. His mommy will be taking care of that first thing tomorrow. In the mean time he’s not allowed to attend school until he is cast correctly.
Life is waiting for surgery
See my comments to Sunday’s blog. I’m really happy you are now past the chemo treatments. I doubt that two more weeks would make much of a difference in whether or not the cancer reoccurs. Besides, radiation should clean up anything the chemo and surgery didn’t get. You got through what is likely the worst of it, now you can focus on moving forward to being fully restored to good health with perky boobs! This is one helluva way to get a free boob job. LYTTMAB!
I’m so happy for you that this phase is done and can’t wait until you start to have a bit of normal return. I know it will be slow but hoping that there is a bit of improvement each day!