I made it to the gym again today. Another 45 minutes of constant swimming or just kicking my legs in the pool (2 two minute breaks just hanging off the side kicking my legs). It’s getting a little easier to change in the locker room, but still feeling really self conscience when I have to lube up the boob before the swim with Aquaphor and after the swim and shower with Miaderm, to do all I can to minimize the skin damage from radiation.
Last night I felt a few minor zings in my breast and my first thought was great, radiation is already causing me pain, but I quickly shut down that thought process and reminded myself that I have been feeling zings here and there since they started 3 1/2 months ago. Every little twitch, twinge and irritation has me jumpy now.
I did some grocery shopping to tide us over until this weekend after I finished at the gym and then headed home, put my towels and swim clothes in the wash, washed all the fresh herbs I bought for my water, and ate a quick bite before we had to head out to the hospital for today’s treatment.
Because I broke my favorite water bottle and I am waiting for the replacement(s) I ordered, I am using a different water bottle. The lid on this bottle has a tendency to back off unless I twist it closed really hard. Because I have to strip from the waist up and don “the gown”, and place my clothes in a bag and carry it with me into the treatment room, I usually just take a tote bag I use for the lecture series I’ve been attending. I have calendula cream and Miaderm in my tote, I drop my phone and wallet in there and I have everything I need for treatment in one bag. Add my water bottle and I’m good to go.
Somewhere in the drive from home to the hospital, that damn lid unscrewed enough to let all the water in my freshly filled bottle spill out into my tote. I did learn the tote is basically waterproof. All the water stayed in the bag… my wallet was soaked, my sun glass case that I dropped in there at the last minute was soaked, and my phone… well let’s say this is the second phone I have lost due to water. My tote felt cold, and when I reached in to grab my phone as we entered the Radiation Oncology Lobby, my hand hit water. Robert was incredulous. Really Kim – who puts a water bottle in a bag with their phone? Who doesn’t make sure the lid is screwed on tightly? I just looked at him and told him he wasn’t helping.
I checked in then turned to the bathroom so I could dump the water out of my tote bag and grab paper towels to try and dry it out. They called my name almost as soon as I checked in. They run a tight ship there! I looked at the nurse at the front desk and he said to go do what I needed to do, he would let them know I’d be a minute.
I dumped out the water, checked the phone, yup, dead. grabbed a bunch of paper towels and headed back to the changing room. Before I put my clothes in the bag I did a quick dry out with the paper towels.
Art was ready for me almost as soon as I was done getting ready. He could hardly wait to see what my temp tattoo was today. He did ask me how my day was going and I had to tell him it was great until we got there… Guess I was heading to Verizon to get a new phone once we were done.
Today was easy, two small circles around my tattoo’d markers so they knew where to look for them when they turned down the lights and lined me up under the laser grid projected onto my chest. Art was quick to check out the tattoo and had to read it to the other tech (who’s name I currently cannot remember) as she forgot her glasses. They asked me where I was finding these. I told them I find the pictures on the internet and print them on temp tattoo paper. You can find other things on the internet besides porn…. They loved that! Now they are both excited to see what tomorrow brings.
I did get a new phone, the iPhone 8s, as I didn’t want to wait for possibly weeks to get a refurbished 6s from my phone insurance policy. Took a bit, but it’s all up to speed again. I got back home just in time to head over to Support Group.
Someone must have said something to the new girl – Kelly, as this week she was quick to say “this is what works” for her when she talked about her treatment decisions, diet, exercise, etc. She didn’t push her choices on the rest of us whenever we talked about what it was that was bothering us this week. With her being like this it was much easier to sympathize with her and understand how she is hurting and scared. It was easier to talk to her and provide her feedback from what the rest of us have experienced, how we’ve made our decisions, and so on. What tools we have found useful in dealing with the emotional overload. I can even say at this point, I will probably really like her.
Just as my first night at Support Group where I walked out terrified and overwhelmed, I think she has been so overwhelmed with her diagnoses and treatment plan that it all must have spilled out last week in an overpowering manner to all of us. I hope she finds the support and tools she needs to deal with all of this. It’s such an overwhelming process at first. Heck, it’s still overwhelming and I’m closer to being “done”. I know this is helping me.
Life is learning how to fight the monsters
I guess you won’t have to tell me how you killed your phone or what you got to replace it. (Now that I’ve read your blog and had a good laugh.) Your experience is a testimony for the kind of water bottles I carry, sport cap bottled water I get at Costco. They are easy to carry in one hand so I don’t have to put them into my purse or tote bag. I know that means paying a lot of money for water and creating more plastic waste; but I do recycle the bottles, and the water here doesn’t taste all that good.
Only lost one phone to water when my first iPhone took a swim in the toilet. I’m now up to the X and I love it. Took me a bit to get used to no button and some of the other differences. So glad I didn’t just go for the refurbished replacement for my 5. Of course I have insurance on this puppy; it’s a thousand dollar phone!
Jen and I are going to the surgeon today to learn how to pack my little hole in the boob. I’m feeling very uncomfortable and have ever since he packed it yesterday. It’s not pain, just noticeable and uncomfortable. Sure hope this doesn’t take long to resolve. My seroma has refilled with fluid but it doesn’t look like as much as before. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that this is true and my seroma draining days are coming to a close. This isn’t fun, is it! He also told me the itching is from the histamines released by blood. Apparently the fluid in the seroma contains some blood and it contains histamines and that causes itching just like allergies; which is why people take antihistamines for them. I take a Claritin everyday so why isn’t it taking care of this God Awful itching? I itch everywhere, not just my boobs. I know part of it is dry skin, but this is at a whole new level. OY! Then, there are the zingers! I don’t even need to explain how those feel. I’ve had some so bad that I’ve doubled over. Sure hope there is an end in sight.
Very glad your new person has calmed down a bit. Maybe someone took her aside and gave her some good advice. I know that my fear and anger have come out in ways that I’m not proud of and I have some repentance to do. Not easy to do that either, but it is necessary. Meanwhile, I get lots of comfort and support from my friends and neighbors here everyday.
Glad you are taking this all in stride and you have such a wonderful support group. I would love to have one here; however, the ones that do exist are way too far away for me to attend. I’m muddling through with your blogs (which are extremely helpful) and our conversations, as well as conversations with my friends here who are survivors. I am always amazed at how many of us there are in one place.
Keep up your great attitude. This will all be over soon.
LYTTMAB!