Not sure if it was my colon causing the strange dreams or not, but between the two, I didn’t sleep much from the time I went to bed and 2 AM when I finally gave into the spasm in my gut and headed for the bathroom. Despite some relief at that point I knew this would continue so gently closed our bedroom door and set myself up in my corner of the sofa to knit and watch House of Cards.
By 3 AM I had taken some Imodium. I fell asleep soon after starting a fourth episode. I woke before it finished and realized hubby was in the bathroom starting his morning routine. When he came out he told me to go lay down again, try to get more sleep. But did I listen? I had every intention of doing just that, but a news alert came across my phone – The Orionides meteor showers are visible this weekend. With peak viewing in the pre-dawn hours this morning. Out the back door I went.
The toothless wonder cat followed me to the back of the yard where there is the least amount of light pollution, and I stood there looking up at Orion, hoping to see a meteor or two. I saw three before the sun slowly brightened the sky to the east, the stars winking out, edging closer and closer to the Orion constellation to the west. The whole time the cat was complaining to me how empty his stomach was. Once the sky had lighted to the point I knew I would not be able see any more meteors with the naked eye, I heard the first crow stir. The wind is very active this morning and I can also hear the occasional soft note or two from our sheltered wind chime. Took a quick picture of the sunrise, then told the toothless wonder cat OK, let’s get you some early breakfast. He was more than happy to lead me back to the house to feed him.
He started to eat in the kitchen, but after just a few bites walked back to the back door to finish being fed where he prefers, on the lounger in the covered patio.
We headed out, me with all his food in hand, and got ourselves situated to finish his breakfast. As the sky continued to lighten, I heard the first squirrel chatter his wake up call, and the dominant Hummer chirped a quick hello before getting his first drink of the morning from one of the two feeders I keep just for him and his allowed entourage (male humming birds are notoriously territorial).
It didn’t take the wonder cat long to eat his fill, then spend a few moments grooming, before he was curled up and purring in my lap, as I sat there listening to the neighborhood wake up. The calling birds were the next to sound, and then the Jays. The neighbors bathroom light snapped on. I start to hear more traffic noises, as the trees continue to whisper their ancient knowledge and secrets in the morning breeze.
It amazes me how quickly I have become a morning person. 52 years of being a night owl, and now a little over a month of waking up before dawn, just like that. No alarm needed. I wonder what the coming months will bring?
I do need to get my CBC blood draw this morning in preparation for my second cycle of chemo. My cousin arrives today from Nothern California to spend the weekend with me, with us, with me. A nap will definitely be a must today! Hubby had said he’ll take the spare mattress in the other room so us girls can have our girl time for the “whole” weekend. It will be like old times, sharing a bed on family trips, and our WWT’s (my family can’t spell – the very first Wisnia Women’s Retreat was dubbed WWT, and it has stuck…) I’m looking forward to having one on one time with her. I’m excited and yet kind of bummed it’s this weekend though, and wonder how quickly I can get her to come back again. I really want her help once I lose my eyelashes so she can teach me to apply fake ones. That is something sisters do and she’s my sister. I want to share the amusement of bad placement with her the most. As I have previously said, I really don’t care about the rest of my hair, just my eyelashes! It should start falling out here in a few days, probably Monday because my cousin leaves Sunday evening.
I finished a book my mother sent me written by a breast cancer survivor. It was about her spiritual and emotional journey through her cancer. There were several things in her book that stood out for me.
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- I need to update my will
- She wrote about how she learned to enjoy the little things and to not get so upset/frustrated over minor issues, like being late. Which made me think about the Bucket List my husband wants me to write. Even as I was reading her epiphany of learning to appreciate the little things – noticing the birds in your yard, how different flowers smell, and all that, I was thinking I already do this! I do this on a daily basis, multiple times a day. I’m the one taking pictures of the morning dew on the roof of my car because the way the sun hits it is stunningly beautiful, making me late for work; or sitting for hours with the cat in the backyard just listening to and watching what is going on around me, the sounds of my neighborhood telling me their stories.I’m the one that sees a dandelion seed ball, and in my head, immediately squeals with delight – WISHES! I’m the one taking a 10 minute video of a itty, bitty jumping spider stalking a wasp, 3 time it’s size, that I came across one afternoon while watering, narrating the action like it was Mutual if Omaha’s Animal Kingdom. I’ve never felt the need for a Bucket List, I live my life everyday appreciating the moments of beauty and the abundance of people I love, that I have been blessed with so richly. And I always do my best to not sweat the petty things. (And not pet the sweaty things!)
- The author noted for those who are friends and family of the breast cancer patient to remember chemo is a long journey, but radiation treatment makes it even longer. Be there for the whole journey. This stood out to me as I know I do have a long haul ahead. 6 more weeks of phase one of chemo, then 12 weeks of phase two, and that is as long as by blood counts stay up. If they dip too low and stay low coming into my next cycle, that cycle will be delayed (come on Neulasta, work for me!). Once I finish chemo it’s on to surgery and from there, anywhere from 6 to 12 weeks of radiation 5 days a week. And radiation will not start until I am healed enough from surgery to have my arm immobilized above my head for 30 minutes at a time. (Usually about 4 weeks). So I do worry about support network fatigue. I worry that when I need them the most they will all be ready to get on with their lives, while I’m still trudging through mine. I don’t want to be a burden, but I am asking you all to please help me with my journey for the long haul. And I do this knowing I can’t say or do enough to thank you for all that support. Even now, there are no words encompassing enough to express my gratitude.
Life is the little things
