Thursday was a fairly decent day. But then I was still hopped up on the steroids taken prior to infusion. I was awake at my normal time and felt ready to take on the day. I did have an acupuncture appointment scheduled mid-morning, so made sure I was ready to go for that after taking care of what I like to call my morning routine. Check emails, update my blog, eat breakfast, feed the Toothless Wonder Cat, get washed up and dressed before I take on anything else.
I was ready to take myself to acupuncture in plenty of time, and discussed my problem with not being able to multitask and follow a complicated knitting pattern with Homa. She added some treatment points on my head to try and increase blood flow hoping that may help.
When I was done with treatment headed back home to find Hubby eating lunch. I helped myself to a piece of the left over BBQ chicken and joined him. After we were done we headed to another appliance store to check out other appliance options for our kitchen remodel.
After a few hours I started to slow down, but we found some other options we liked but had some research to do on ratings and complaints to make sure we wanted to go that route, so we headed home.
I was ready for bed by 8:30 PM. I took care of my bedtime routine, and was sound asleep before I knew it. I slept in until after 7 AM. My brain was fuzzy and I was still very tired. Friday was not going to be a good day.
I spent the whole day curled in my spot on the sofa battling a mouth sore and napping. Hubby had to run to the store to pick me up a couple more lemons so I can continue to battle the sore on my tongue.
I felt overwhelmed just trying to deal with the sore. I didn’t have the energy to even think about how I dealt with the previous mouth sores and didn’t want to deal with this one. I just wanted to give up and go back to bed.
The air has been so dry here I’ve had nose bleeds too, and that was depressing me as well. I just want this all to be done. I want this all to go away, forever. I want my real life back, not this one where I have to worry about mouth sores and nose bleeds. Where I don’t have to remember to take CBD oil so I don’t feel sick, and I’m not worrying about making sure I remember to call the surgeons (oncology and plastic) in two weeks and wondering when I will be referred to the radiation oncologist. More doctors, more treatments, more, more, more shit to deal with.
I had to resubmit my disability claim to continue my coverage, and that frustrated me, probably because I was getting so tired. I’m tired of being tired. I’m tired of remembering to get my blood draw on Tuesday mornings. I’m tired of putting together my chemo bag every Wednesday. I’m tired of having a port, I’m tired of forcing myself to eat because I can’t taste anything, I’m tired of being a cancer patient. I want my old life back. I want to be normal, not cancer girl.
So yeah, Friday was not a good day.
Life is being tired
😔😢🌧❤️