Saturday was no better than Friday when it came to my ability to concentrate and stay awake. I am finding it very difficult to follow a conversation with my husband, if it goes on longer than a few minutes I find my mind wanders, and it’s very difficult for me to remain focused on the discussion at hand.
I cannot concentrate enough to knit or read or do anything. My mind constantly wanders, I zone out. I am also very frustrated with this turn of events, which is making my short tempered. I am trying very hard to not be frustrated, but it slips out.
Because of this and many 5 minute discussions, we have decided maybe now is not the time to start our kitchen remodel. We thought it would be the perfect time, we’re both home, Hubby could gut the kitchen himself, saving us some money, but with my shortened temper and inability to concentrate we’re both very worried that I will not be happy with the outcome and be even more frustrated than I am now with the process. A remodel is hard enough under normal circumstances; we don’t need to make it worse for me by doing it while I am struggling with the effects of chemo. So our remodel is on hold, again. We have also decided no more driving for me. Not that I was doing a lot of driving, but with how I have been over the past week and how much worse it is becoming, driving is now out of the question. Hubby will have to be my chauffeur.
I still have the mouth sore, and that is frustrating me too. I just don’t have the energy to deal with these little hurdles and that is adding to my frustrations. I had a hard time eating my dinner last night because it hurt.
I slept even more on Saturday than I did on Friday. My naps were longer, not just 20 to 30 minutes here and there, I was taking 2 hours here and then 2 hours there. I have been so sedentary the past two days my body aches. I want to move but don’t have the energy to move. Just thinking about all this is exhausting.
I feel so overwhelmed and done. 4 weeks into the new chemo regime and I am done. Hubby keeps reminding me this is temporary, and hundreds of thousands of women survive this every year, I can do this too. This is going to be a long two more months…
TCST
Life is dealing with the frustrations
Keep focusing on the end game, a complete healing. I can only imagine how difficult this is for both you and Robert. I’m sad that you are feeling so exhausted and at odds with all that is happening to your body. Still looking for the elusive wand repair person to fix mine. Warm, healing virtual hugs are being sent your way daily. Best I can do right now. LYTTMAB!