Thursday, March 15 – Ready to face the next stage

So yesterday I allowed myself to be afraid, and cry, and spent hours talking about my fears with hubby. I also had my pre-op meeting with the plastic surgeon yesterday to finalize paperwork and she could outline and notify my oncology surgeon how to cut on tomorrow’s lumpectomy so I am well prepared for next week’s fix it up and make the left one match surgery. I had to sign a whole lot of pages of disclaimers and descriptions of risks and possible complications that could happen from my mammaplasty (breast reduction on left side). Once I finished that and then had to go over the possible complications of the restructuring of my right breast to make it look normal after tomorrow’s surgery, Hubby has decided I will not be going anywhere other than follow up appointments for the next three to four weeks.
When Dr. Goldberg was drawing on my right breast where she wants Dr. Ali-Jones to cut for the lumpectomy, she started with a half circle the followed the bottom half of my areola (a nice purple line). Then she stared at it a bit and said, that might not be big enough, then drew a line down from the center of the arc to the bottom of my breast. I must have had a look on my face, scared, stricken, maybe my eyes got wide, because she than grabbed about a 1/3rd of my breast at the bottom and said this is about how much Dr. Ali-Jones has to remove Friday. Do you have a preference on your final cup size?

Ummm, wow, I knew a large chunk was coming out, but that really added some perspective as to how large a chunk of my breast was being removed. When I just kind of looked at Dr. Goldberg, she said she could make me a nice B cup or she even thinks she can leave me with a C cup. My response was let’s try for the C cup please. Going from E cup to C cup will be quite a big difference to deal with, I am sure waking up after the surgery on Friday is going to be just a bit of a shock.  They will also be ordering a specific type of sports bra for me to wear for a minimum of 6 weeks during my recovery.  We did ask about the whole underwire thing and Dr. Goldberg said once I am fully recovered I can wear underwire bras all I want.  Next I will have to ask Dr. Ali-Jones.

I face possible infection, excessive scarring, loss of some sensation to all sensation, nipple necrosis, discoloration, excessive bleeding, hematoma, excessive swelling, poor wound healing, and breast asymmetry among a long list of possible complications. Nothing is guaranteed as to the final outcome on how well the two breasts will match. Oh, and just so you know, if any corrections are needed due to complications, insurance may not cover the costs. Nice!

We talk about the pathology report and what happens if it comes back positive for cancer cells in the margin. They are generally looking for a 3mm margin all around. If the report comes back that the margin is not big enough and Ali-Jones decides a little more tissue needs to be taken, Goldberg says that can be done at the same time as the restructuring and reduction. If it comes back that there is no margin then I will most likely have to go back in for a mastectomy. If that happens, Goldberg will place an expander in my chest and we will regroup after I am recovered enough from the mastectomy and discuss rebuilding options.

I was provided with prescriptions for a pain reliever (narcotic), an antibiotic (Reflex), an anti-nausea drug (Reglan) and Xanax for anxiety. Dr. Goldberg forgot to sign the Rx slip so the pharmacy could not fill the pain reliever (Oxycodone). Hubby will have to go back to Dr. Goldberg’s office next week to pick up a new Rx for that.

I made dinner tonight so I have some good food to come home to on Saturday, if Hubby doesn’t eat all the leftovers before then. I made Garlic Mashed Potatoes, Polish Sausage with sautéed onions and peppers and Sauerkraut.

I will pack a bag for Hubby to bring up once I have been taken to a room after surgery tomorrow. I need my pills, a toothbrush and some stuff to help me while away the time I spend tomorrow afternoon/night in the hospital.

I think I am ready for this. My dragon is doing loops making me feel like I shouldn’t have eaten dinner after all. Maybe I should take one of the Xanax tonight…

Life is trying to keep the anxiety dragon at bay